***J’s Journal is an open diary. I share random thoughts on the different aspects of my life - love, work, society. Most stories are inspired by my personal experiences or those of my loved ones. Just like the way you would write notes in your journal, I do not plan on respecting every grammatical rule. So, excuse my informal writing!***
Friends and Family - What do those two words mean to you? Personally, their meaning has considerably changed over the years. Before, I’d define family as a “large/considerable” group of people you did not choose but are stuck with, no matter what happens. Then, I’d define friends as a limited group of people you choose for yourself based on solid reasons. What do I think about Fr’Amily today? How do I feel about them? Are they necessary?
First, I’ll say this - my consideration of Fr’Amily changed because of life experiences. I realized we can overgrow some family members and friends, and it is okay. We do not always have to see eye to eye or do everything together. Beliefs and values can and will change. We will go in different directions. However, the most important part of it all is to remember who we were yesterday. We may have less love for each other, but loyalty and respect must remain.
As I grew up, I learned that our connection with Fr’Amily is not always about love. Blood and feelings do not mean much to most people. I realized it’s totally fine to pick the family members you would like to be surrounded by, as much as you can pick your friends. I don’t know about you, the one reading this, but I absolutely value my inner peace. Thus, anyone who aims to deprive me of it has to exit my life.
In terms of necessity, I will say yes - My Fr’Amily - My people, are necessary! I chose not to be stuck just with anyone, but those who make me feel valued, loved, important… all the good adjectives. I want My Fr’Amily in My life. They keep me going, and I make sure they receive every ounce of what they give me.
The point of this article is to remind or confirm that you do and should not be around people who undervalue you as a person. We only live once and life is just what we make it. If we aspire to a sweet life, we should work on surrounding ourselves with people that will help us sweeten it up. Toxicity is unnecessary! Neither a family member nor a friend should threaten your peace.
Here is my rule - I pick my people and I do not hesitate to cut ties if needed, mainly when I realize we are not going in the same direction. There is no need to poison each other’s existence. Do you, and let me, do me! Simple right? As it should be!